I Really Don't Know My Strength

I rarely do things halfway. My idea is full power. If I have to go through a doorway, I'd rather yank open the actual door than to go through the revolving doors. I broke my entrance door at home when I first moved into the apartment. I yank open doors and have them slam against the wall and break the sheetrock when the doorknob slams into the wall.

Well, I was in this mode today (as I am most every day). I went into the ladies' room and finished my duties placed my nice new slacks in place and yanked up the rear zipper with my usual force and was left with the zipper pull tab in my fingers. I felt the immediate opening of the zipper. There was not much I could do. I didn't have a safety pin with me. I walked out to my desk holding my pants up. How the hell am I going to get home. And, more annoyingly, I wanted to go to the music alley and buy some music equipment before going home. I crept back to the ladies' room. I got out of my pants and put them on backwards. No, this will never work -- my entire stomach is hanging out. I went back to my desk and grabbed shipping tape (of which my co-worker had left me very little of) and went back into the ladies' room. With my pants on in the correct direction, I started taping myself from stomach, then all around; then back to my stomach. At which point, the tape finished. Great!! Murphy's is working today. I returned to my desk with itsy bitsy steps like a geisha girl. I accidentally dropped some manilla folders on the floor. No way I can bend down to pick them up. They stayed there.

I walked to the subway with my biodegradable grocery bag hanging toward my backside and held there with my hand. I actually reached home with no additional incident. Although when I looked at my backside, there was a two-inch gap at the zipper area where all my skin showed through.

Just great!!! Couldn't I just lighten up a little bit and be a bit more gentle????????