Morning Dressing Algorithm

This was the sequence (and mental thoughts) this particular morning (and many mornings) when getting dressed for work:

"What the hell am I going to wear today?  Nothing fits me.  I guess I can wear that mid-calf black polka-dot skirt with the three ruffles at the bottom.  What will I wear as a blouse?  Hmmmm?  Maybe my black suit jacket?  Nah!!!!  I know, I'll wear my white long-sleeve tunic blouse with my silver chain belt (with little coins hanging from it).  Well, I'm  totally outfitted, but I don't like the belt.  I have one of those snap leather belts with a lot of metal circles pressed into it (you know, on one hip, hanging off the other pretty far down -- really on your hips, not your waist).  Damn, it's tan.  Ah, so what!  OK.  That's better than the silver belt.  I don't look like such a chunk.  Well, now.  It's sort of cold outside, but now I have this long white tunic blouse that is going to hang below my black leather jacket.  Let me put my short black vest on to keep me warm.  Well, now, that's a little weird looking, but I actually think I like it.  Now, the shoes.  What the hell goes with this?  It has to be something comfortable -- yesterday I drew blood on both my feet from new high heels that I stupidly wore into work.  I know, I'll wear these tan heels with the wrap-around-the-ankle strings (they wrap around, and around three times).  And, I'll top it off with this multi-color necklace and magenta earrings.

So, when you look at the attachment(which I will insert when I find out where the hell I put my sketch), please remember, the blouse is white, the vest black, the skirt black with white polka dots, the belt tan with silver little grommets (is that the correct word?), The shoes tan, the jacket
black leather.  It's like a nightmare!  Every time I go into the ladies'
room I can't help but laugh out loud at how totally insane I am.  I almost started taking items off.  But I didn't.   :)