X-Files Massage Therapist Experience

I came back from my vacation today (2006, right after Thanksgiving). Had an appointment with my massage therapist (who works out of a chiropractor's office). Got there at 12:30 and ran into about three persons in the hall -- a woman with a phone surgically attached to her ear and hand, and two fellows. The fellows smiled at me very nicely. I tried to sidestep the woman in order to get into the chiropractor's office, but, she started asking me where I was going (while never removing the phone from her ear) and what I was doing there. I sort of disregarded her and continued into the office (wondering why in the world it was any of her business) and she followed me in (with the phone still attached). I told her I had an appointment (while wondering who the f#@@k she was). There were boxes all over the corridors and floor. Unfamiliar people were behind the desk. I wondered about that. Had they relocated; changed something in the office; construction?? I had an appointment with Melissa. I told another woman inside the same thing. She said she thought Melissa was in the gym (why the hell would Melissa be in the gym when she had an appointment with me?). I asked if she would look at the appointment book to see if she had me penciled in. She said she wouldn't know (which I found rather strange). I saw another tall Amerasian slender (very straight posture) youngish woman leaving one of the offices (the chiropractor's I presumed). She had a gun holstered at her hip. I wondered. hmmmm??? Did she go in for an adjustment and take the gun off? The woman with the cell appendage came in and asked who i was supposed to see. I told her, wondering again who the hell she was. She seemed to feel and acted as if she had a lot of authority (not to me she didn't). She said she had Melissa's cell number. she dialed her for me and let me use her cell. Melissa said the office was closed that day and she was sorry she hadn't been able to call me; she didn't have my number. I told Melissa that she certainly did have my number (but she said she couldn't get it with what was going on in the office). I wondered, "what is going on in this office?" She apologized and we agreed she would call me for a rescheduled appointment. Then, as I was getting ready to leave (I was more than a bit pissed at having wasted my time walking there and also losing any time to eat lunch). The gun gal asked if I could leave my name at the desk. I said I could write my name on a paper. She said that she wanted to ask me some questions; it wouldn't take long. At this point, i asked "what is going on?" She said they were the FBI and were involved in an investigation. So, I had to go into an office and answer numerous questions -- my birthdate, my social security number. I asked, do you have a card and some ID that i can see? She brought out her FBI badge, as did another woman, and I got her card. Then there were numerous questions about what treatments i got, did i ever hear of dura "something", had i received some type of injections, Had I ever heard of Dr. this and Dr. that. How often I came; what the duration of the massage was; what the CIGNA payment understanding was (to which i said I really didn't know what it was; I assumed the chiropractor's office accepted whatever CIGNA gave them, since I hadn't been billed); blah, blah, blah. Then she said that she wasn't the case worker on this investigation and that i might be receiving a call from a Sean Mullein. This reminded me of the X-Files so i asked if he was from X-Files (of course, his name is not Mullein, but rather Moulder (or something like that) , but, of course, I didn't know that). So, bottom line, I didn't get my friggin' massage, nor my lunch, and now I might be getting phone calls from the FBI for other ass fresco questions.

Next day the FBI arrested both chiropractors working in that office for mass fraudulent over billing and invented services.

By the way (on another vein of thought), my seafood gumbo was dynamite (even with the necessity of bringing my ham bone out to the sidewalk at 11pm with a hammer and whacking it until it split -- it was too large and didn't fit in the pot). Blue Manor up in Vermont was awesome, although we had a heat wave so didn't even attempt to go skiing. The house was amazing. It felt like Tuscany all over again. I barely got out of my PJs at any time (hey, it sort of sounds like now, doesn't it?) and had loads of wine (while in the pool, the sauna, the movie room). We cooked; we read, etc. berri, berri nice.