Some Dangers of Lugging Around Too Much Stuff

Venmo v. Paypal v. Zelle v. Here's Your Damn Cash!!

I'm going to be owing money on a regular basis to a close family member of mine, let's call him Joe Schmo.  He added a cell phone line to his account.  I asked him to let me know the exact amount that I owed him when he got his T-Mobile bill.  But, he never did.  I kept asking him for the amount, but he, for some reason, was not forthcoming with the amount.  Finally, I owed him about three months of T-Mobile service.   I told him I was just going to guess at an amount and pay him.  

He asked me to pay him what I owed him through Venmo.  I didn't have a Venmo account.  I only had a PayPal account (which I wasn't crazy about).  I don't like having to give my bank account information to an outside service.  I asked, "can I transfer the funds via Zelle to your Citibank account?"  The answer was a resounding "NO!  I don't use that account for receiving payments."  The next thing I asked was, "Well, I already have a PayPal account.  May I transfer the funds with that, since I already have cash sitting there for eons of time?"  I received another resounding "NO!  Don't give me more work to do.  I already have enough work and trying to simplify things for myself".  So, lastly, I asked him for his Venmo account link.  He says, "It's my cell phone number."

So, at this point, I see no other way.  So, I begin a Venmo account from my computer.  Once I do this, I am asked to add my friends to it.  What is this, Facebook????  I try to bring up Joe Schmo, and there seem to be two of them.  I, once again, ask Joe for his Venmo account link so that I can add the correct him.  Another resounding "NO."  Nothing more.  So, I think to myself, "Well, that's it.  I'm not going to waste any more of my time on this any longer, since Joe is not being very helpful in this transaction.  He's getting cash."  

The very day that I visited him, I took the cash in an envelope, with the breakdown of my expenses written on the face of the envelope, and slapped it on the keyboard of his lap top.  Coincidentally, it seems that that very day, earlier in the morning, Joe had finally sent me his Venmo account link.  I hadn't seen it.  In any event, it was too late.  I had already taken the cash out of the ATM machine.  

But, since this was going to be an on-going payment. I thought I might as well set up the Venmo account completely.  Especially now, since Joe had given me his Venmo link.

This was my experience setting up my Venmo account from my computer at home.  And, I sent Joe the following e-mail.

Subject: Friggin' Venmo

So, I sign into Venmo on my computer.  I then add you as a friend.  I click on you and that’s when I see all your payments and notify you of it.  They are all publicly viewable.  I add my bank card information (I'm not very happy about that, but they charge a percentage fee for every other kind of payment).  I then have to look around to see how to make a payment.  It is not clearly shown. 

I finally get to a place for that and there’s a message that if I want to make a payment through venmo.com they are discontinuing it and if I want to make a payment that way, I’ll need to get the app.  They give me a link.  Google Play (or Store?) or App Store.  I try App Store first.  But, they say my device is not compatible.  I then go to Google Play.  I find the app I want.  There’s a message on the screen saying that my device is compatible for that app.  Great!  I click “install.”  It immediately brings up my Samsung for it to be added to (that’s my cell phone, not my pc where I am doing this from).  I wanted the app on my pc. But that choice is not there.

Now I have to go into the kitchen and get my cell.  I have to look in every hidey hole on the cell for Venmo and finally find it.  I go to install it and it forces me to logon to Venmo from my cell.  Once I attempt that, I get the alert message that they are going to send me a verification code to make sure it is indeed me.  Sheesh‼‼  I go through that whole scenario and finally get the friggin app on my cell.  I WANTED IT ON MY PC‼‼  Then I find that you are not a friend on my cell Venmo (even though I added you successfully on my pc Venmo account).  So, I have to, once again, add you as a friend.  The system brought in all my contacts so that I could make payments to them.  Why would I want that?  And, it gave me the option of having all my payments be viewed publicly.  Why the hell would I want that?  It’s idiotic.  I canceled that.  then I “finally” made the payment.  To someone named Joe Schmo.  Since you haven’t yet confirmed receiving the $100, I presume that another Joe Schmo is enjoying my $100 and buying something frivolous.

So, that whole chore is done.  I then see I have some new e-mails.  There are warning e-mails that “someone” logged into my account from a Samsung.  Then another e-mail asking me if my Samsung should be remembered and not cause me to have to log in every time and receive a verification code.  And yet more e-mails from Venmo because they are so afraid that someone else is using my Venmo from a Samsung cell phone.

If Venmo is so concerned about fraud, etc., and pretends it has no knowledge of any of my devices, then why did it only give me the option to install the app to my exact Samsung Galaxy S7??????? ??????????????  I ask you that‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼!

My Adventures into the Wilds of Brooklyn

So, let me tell you about my little spree I went on last night.

My sister had been in the hospital for close to a week, unable to walk, inflammation on her vertebrae, etc., etc.  She finally was discharged and is back home by Friday.  But, I’m worried about her overdoing it, at home by herself.  I know that her husband will be back at work on Monday and her children will have departed (they were visiting) the same day she returned home from the hospital.

So, I thought, despite the fact that I haven’t visited her apartment for ages because she has cats, and I’m highly allergic, I think I have to make an effort to get over there and see how I can assist her.

So, I make my plans to go on Tuesday, after all, I don’t have chorus rehearsal yet (I haven’t heard from them, so we probably won’t resume for another week).  So, while I’m sitting at the office I receive a cheery e-mail from the chorus reminding us that we have a rehearsal that night.  CRAP!!!  I totally neglected to check to see when we would resume.  Oh, well, my sister is more important.  I send out my absence regrets with apologies.  Then a chorus mate has the temerity to ask, “What’s so important that you have to miss the first chorus rehearsal?”  Geeeez!!!!  I relay a brief explanation to her about my sister, and she totally understands (and agrees).  Thank you very much!

So, during the day I’m Googling what the best way to arrive at Carnarsie is.  I find that there is an express bus that goes pretty close to her, culminating in a 12 minute walk to finalize the trip.  Hmmmm??  I had no idea there was one.  My sister seems to live in a secluded section of Brooklyn with very little subway service close by other than the L train.  But, I’ve never taken an express bus.  And, additionally, I know that I can’t use my unlimited MTA card because that’s only for the regular buses or trains.  Ultimately, I decide to take the W train up to 14^th Street and then the dreaded L train all the way over to Carnarsie.  Then the B42 for the final leg of the trip. 

I run down both subway escalators and manage to just jump on the W train seconds before the doors close.  Whew!!!  That’s a blessing.  Especially since there were so many slow-moving people in front of me.  I guess they are not going to anything exciting because they walk like they have lard in their pants.  I even considered stepping up and sliding down the middle chrome-top section of the escalator, but knew I’d never make it without injuring myself badly.  Hence, my sister would then need to take care of me.  Once I arrive at 14^th Street, I have to navigate the platform endlessly to find the very hidden staircase to the L train.  Why is it so obscure????  Once again, the train arrives moments after my feet hit the L platform.  I scurry up the platform toward the front of the train and get a reasonable standing spot.  Then soon after I get a seat.  Yay!!!  This is going much better than I thought.  [smile]

So, let me step back a moment so that I can explain what my plan was to overcome any possibility of having the cats affect me.  I thought it would be a good plan to bring my construction mask with me.  Of course‼  It’s a heavy construction mask; not one of those flimsy thin ones.  Then, of course, a dose of my strong antihistamines.  I thought it would also be good to enclose any clothes that I was wearing and all my belongings in a large recycling bag..  It is my experience wherever I go where there are pets that the pets take an immediate liking to me, or perhaps just a strong dose of .curiosity such as, “who is this person who is totally ignoring me?”  Hence, they always sidle up to me, jump on my lap, sit on the seat that I’m at, rub their fur all over my legs (or my arms, if I’m sitting).  So, if I have all my stuff in a bag,, I won’t come away with all sorts of cat hair when I leave.  I also brought a bag with a jacket that my sister left at my apartment about one year ago.  So, I have my purse (totally filled with “stuff”), a shoulder bag (filled with more stuff — Kindle, cell phone, and totally unnecessary stuff), and my sister’s bag with her jacket.

So, onward with my story.  As I said before, I haven’t been to my sister’s apartment in many, many years.  The last time I was there, I remember that there was a huge parking lot just before you arrived at her building.  So, this was an easy marker to identify her building.  Her apartment is just alongside the Belt Parkway.  My sister did remind me, “remember, my building is the building before the last building.”  She also gave me the key code to punch in at the front entrance door of the building in order to get into the lobby.  Or, she said I could go through the back, which is not locked.  Except, the door has no doorknob.  You have to pull on the window grating to get the door open. 

Right then and there, I decided that I would opt for the front entryway.  Opening a door using the window grating didn’t sound like an attractive option to me.  Besides, that back door would be alongside the huge (and dark) parking lot.  And, thinking of safety precautions, I felt that the front door was the safer way to go.

So, as I indicated earlier in this totally boring (TO YOU) but amusing (TO ME) dialog, my subway trip was a breeze.  Got there smoothly and quickly.  Jumped on the B42 bus, which took us all the way to the last stop.  At this point I asked the driver if I could ride with him around the loop that he takes to the first stop of the return trip.  He found this request quite amusing.  Not sure why.  But, anyway, I stayed with him.  Then got off on the side of my sister’s apartment complex.

Next. . . to find the building.  The entire apartment complex is under construction.  It’s night time and very dark.  There are not very many lamp posts to light the way.  In other words, it’s extremely dark.  There is scaffolding everywhere.  And small pass-through areas through all the construction.  Everything is totally dark and secluded.  Not a soul around.  I hear someone walking behind me and I go into high alert.  But then a car comes driving toward me on the sidewalk (yes, on the sidewalk) and there’s no space for me to walk on it too.  So I have to step to the side to let the car pass by.  It’s a police car.  The person behind me passes me.  Good.  Now, to find the building.  I’m looking all over for the remembered parking lot.  But, I can’t see it.  I do see a very large complex that looks like an indoor skating rink.  Hmmm??  I don’t remember ever seeing that.  I wonder if it has always been there.  The sidewalk is totally secluded, except for the parked cars alongside it.  And then the Belt Parkway.  So, I really do not want to walk out to the sidewalk.  It looks too dark and isolated.  Not that there are any more people around where I am.  The entire area is isolated.

I walk a little further and decide that perhaps the building to the left of that skating-rink-like complex is my sister’s building.  But, of course, I can’t see the building number because it’s obliterated by all the scaffolding.  Hmmm??  Not good.  I go up to the front entrance and key in the code my sister gave me.  The door pops open.  Yay!  It must be the correct building.  So, I make a left and go all the way down the hall to my sister’s door.  I look at the door to see if their last name is listed on the name plate section.  It is not.  It is blank.  This has got to be it.  I remove the recycling bag (a 30 gallon bag) and take off my jacket and scarf and shove it into the bag, then in goes my shoulder bag, and the bag holding my sister’s jacket.  Out comes my construction mask and on it goes.  I also take out my eyeglasses (I’m going to need them inside and don’t want to start opening the bag inside the apartment).  I prop the eyeglasses on the top of my head and put on the mask.  I use the knocker and knock on the door (there’s no bell).  In a short while a tall man answers the door.  Not my sister, nor my brother-in-law.  I thought he might be visiting my sister.  I say, “Janice?”  He says “no.”  He reminds me of an actor who usually plays a detective role.  Can’t think of a name.  But maybe like a Lawrence Fishburn.  I spout the address and the fact that I can’t see any of the numbers due to all the scaffolding.  He says, “no, that’s the next building.”  Here I am in this getup, with my mask on, and the 30 gallon bag in my arms with all its innards falling to each side and my arm in the middle.  He doesn’t have any reaction whatsoever to my getup.  Not even a blink.  I apologize and leave.

 

I still do not want to walk out to the sidewalk (for the same reason as before).  So, since the guy said it was at the next building, I walk to the next building.  I never removed my mask, nor put my jacket back on.  So, I’m walking around with the mask and no jacket, carrying this 30 gallon bag of “stuff.”  I go to the front entryway, key in the code, and the door pops open.  So much for security.  All the buildings use the same code.  There is a young guy inside the lobby of this building.  As the door pops open, he also comes to the door and says, “I opened it for you.”  I thank him and wonder, does he want a tip?  Once again, I walk to the left and down the very long hallway to my sister’s door.  I go through the same process of using the knocker.  But, this time, there is no answer.  The young guy is still in the front lobby and is talking.  But, I can’t make out what he is saying, nor if he is talking to me, or perhaps on a cell phone.  I did say, “what?” one time, but he didn’t respond.  So, I assume he is talking to someone else. 

 At this point, I decide that it might be a good idea to get my cell phone out and call my sister and ask where the building is.  I do this, after untying the knot in the recycling bag and fishing into my bags to get it.  Of course, I am not getting a signal.  I decide not to return the cell phone to the bag, but now hang it around my wrist in the hopes that I will get a signal once I’m outside.  I do not.

 At this point, I realize that I’m going to have to actually walk out to the ignored sidewalk and figure out which building is the building before last.  This time I pull the mask to the side and I actually put my jacket back on.  After all, it’s winter.  I go to yet another building.  I don’t see any parking lot around.  I don’t know where it is.  I go to the front and key in the code.  Once again (the third time), the door pops open.  Turn to the left and down the hall I go.  Off comes the jacket, stuff it back in the recycling bag, on goes the mask.  This door has a bell.  I ring it, with some trepidation.  Alas, my sister answers it.

I’ve arrived‼‼‼

 

As I anticipated, the cats are all around me.  They are so curious as to who I am and want to come close sniffing.  My sister took precautions and separated a sheet that I should place on a chair that the cats had not been on.  But, every time I got up, I would also remove the sheet.  It was necessities to be remembered at every action.

 

So, I prepared dinner for my sister.  Then my brother-in-law arrived.  I prepared dinner for him.  There were such huge amounts of fresh vegetables.  OMG!!!  My niece bought food enough for an army.  I cooked some of the vegetables for a later use and washed about a half bunch of bok choy (there were still 1 huge head and a half).  What was my niece thinking???? 

 

So, it came time to go rather soon.  I had a heated discussion with my sister about Uber v. public transportation home.  Of course, there was minimal discussion as her cab company required cash and they didn't have it.  Nor did I.  And, besides, I thought it was such a waste of cash.  So, I won the discussion.  I asked my brother-in-law to walk me to the bus stop and I made my way home to Astoria.  The trip was not as long as I had anticipated.

 

I'm still in one piece.  Hopefully, I didn't cause my sister to do more work as a result of my arriving.  LOL

 

 

Food for Thought

I just read this while cruising the web and it made an impressive impact on me and made me stop and think:

Practice “negative visualization” to “forestall and reverse hedonic adaptation.”

This is the idea that things that make us happy once, don’t make us as happy the next time.  We work hard to get something that we really want, but then eventually we get used to it and want something else.

As William B Irvine wrote, he recommends the practice of “negative visualization” to “forestall and reverse hedonic adaptation.”  He explains how we’ve probably gotten used to some things that we take for granted, so he says “we need a technique for creating in ourselves a desire for the things we already have . . . the easiest way for us to gain happiness is to learn how to want the things we already have.”  So, he recommends taking some time every so often to imagine losing the thing in your life that you value.  Try this out for yourself.  What do you have in your life that would make you very sad if you lost them?  How would losing them affect you?  Does this practice make you more grateful for them and help you to be less likely to take them for granted?

Kids, who would like this book as a gift?  I might get it for myself, as well.  

My First Paying Gig Ever!!!

Well, it was Christmas 2013 and I was over in Michigan visiting Melissa and boys when I got an e-mail from Trevor saying that a friend of his former student had heard us jamming bluegrass on the internet while up at Trevor's Peekskill loft and wanted to hire us for his wedding to play during the cocktail hour.  Wow!!!  I really wasn't sure whether he was kidding or not at first.  I did a lot of research while in Michigan on the pros and cons of accepting a bluegrass wedding gig.  Most of the answers regarding that were "don't do it."  "The only people who will listen to you are the outcasts of the family.  They will be the only ones standing near the stage listening instead of mingling with the family and wedding guests.  Here is one site that was very specific about not doing it:  http://bluegrasstoday.com/no-go-zones-for-bluegrass-bands/

I thought about this for a while and really could see the veracity of that.  Then too, since it was for a wedding -- a happy occasion -- we would have to toss most of our repertoire, since those songs were all about unhappiness, shooting someone dead, losing a loved one.

After I had been back in New York for some time and the gig was approaching, I thought it might be a good idea for us to choose a band name and proceeded to text Trevor about this (ad nauseum, I must say).  The following is a replicate of our text exchange.   You'll notice that most of the time I'm texting back and forth to myself with no response whatsoever from Trevor.  Ah, the reality of life!!!

Me to Trevor (917) 501-2761 - mobile 5/29/14 3:13 PM 2 months ago Inbox Me: Band Names? (1) Travelin Bluegrass Band; (2) Inter-City B.G.B.; (3) The Nomads; (4) "The TKs" (Trevor & Kani); (5) Trevor's B.G. Followers; (6) Caleb Band; & of course (7) The Ass Frescos; or 1:47 PM Me: (8) some really off the wall and clever creation of your own. :) xoxoxox 1:47 PM Trevor: Ah... We'll have to keep thinking about that. 1:50 PM Me: Hey!!! What about the Vikingros??? 1:50 PM Trevor: YEAH!!!! 1:51 PM Trevor: Or, what about... THE IDIOTS!?!?!? 1:51 PM Trevor: Or, better yet: THE IDIOTIC MORONS!!!!!!! 1:51 PM Trevor: Wait, no... 1:52 PM Trevor: AHA!!!! THE MORONIC IDIOTS!!!!!!!! 1:52 PM Trevor: That really has a nice ring to it. Now we don't even have to practice playing!! 1:52 PM Me: ha, ha. Love it. No practicing. I can be myself now with no concern. :) 1:54 PM Me: Also have to agree on what we're going to wear. Shall we coordinate w/each other, or just wear a kaleidescope of colors and styles. Yay!! 1:55 PM Me: (9) The Vagabonds; (10) The Bluegrassolics 2:02 PM Me: (11) Bluegrass Stompers; (12) Hudson Bluegrass Stompers; (13) TBD 4:04 PM Me: I meant (10 The Bluegrassaholics 4:05 PM Me: Just sent u both a nonsense e-mail; just in case u have nothing better to do w/your life. ha, ha. xoxoxoox 4:13 PM Trevor: Uh, how about rhe more accurate Bluegrassholes? 4:16 PM Me: ha, ha. the groom might not go for making that name public to others. ha, ha. 4:26 PM Me: (14) Hudson Valley Coral 4:37 PM Me: (14) Hudson Valley Coral 4:37 PM Trevor: The Bombast Bluegrass Band? 4:55 PM Me: I LIKE IT!!!! A LOT!!! 5:07 PM  Me: The Multi City Bluegrass Pals; TMC Bluegrass Band; TMH Bluegrass Band; Random Internet Bluegrass Band 4:41 PM Trevor: Hudson Family Bluegrass Band 5:44 PM Me: *Hey, that has a nice ring to it. I like it!!! * Trevor (SMS) wrote: Hudson Family Bluegrass Band 7:57 PM Some funny stories about chicken wire gigs: http://steelguitarforum.com/Forum15/HTML/002930.html Some more later during the actual wedding..........

Subway Vagaries

Other than the usual crowded trains that you can't enter, or turnstiles that don't work, or the poorly ill conceived architectural layout of a subway exit where you can't get out of the turnstiles or doors (I'm sure most of these are fire hazards), you don't expect some of the following situations. Please feel free to add some of your own, which I'm sure you have.

• I got on the D train while living in Bensonhurst and was on my way to work. I sat by the window in the side by side, back to back two-seaters. In a while a young Russian woman (in her 20's), who obviously felt put upon, tapped me on my shoulder and said, "Your hair is touching my shoulder." I really didn't know what response to give to that. So, I said, "I just shampooed it."

• While still living in Bensonhurst and using the D train, I got on the D (very much configured as the incident above -- a cluster of back-to-back two-seaters, with some face to face seating on each side of the train). I was sitting in the double seat. the train was packed. A woman came and sat next to me. In a while she said to me, "The air is blowing on me from the ceiling and I'm cold. Would you change your seat with me?" You can imagine the look I gave her. "Well, if I did that, then I would be cold." Then the woman asked a man to switch seats with her. He just gave her a flat out "No."
• 
  
  Well, I'm now in Astoria. I had the pleasure of our wonderful W train taking me straight to work, until it's rude removal. Now I have to deal with two trains every day in order to reach my destination. Ever since the removal of the W, life with the subways has been a misery of delayed trains and non-working trains -- both during the rush hour and late at night. How many times have I been thrown out of the train 3 or 4 stops from my destination and forced to walk through industrial sections with nothing but warehouses.

• I get on the Whitehall Station platform for the lowly R train. The ..."to be continued"

Well, I started my morning with a bang!!!

 

First of all, I got up this morning at 5am to pack for my trip.  I think I went way beyond my Spain trip in terms of “stuff.”  I had my small suitcase (the allowable size on the plane, if it weren’t filled to extreme capacity).  And, I had my large duffel bag.  I figured I’d put all my shoes in the duffel, but ended up filling it with all my electronics too.  I took that one to Florida when I went on the cruise with Melissa.  The duffel has a strap that hooks to each side and then you can sling it over your shoulder.  But, I didn’t notice that it was missing the strap until I was finished packing.  I had noooo idea where the strap was.  Now I was realizing what difficulty I was going to have rolling the suitcase and holding the duffel by the small hand-hold straps.  I closed my suitcase by sitting on it.  I could barely zip it.  If they unzip it at the airport, they will never rezip it again.  Ridiculous.  I think the reason for so much stuff was that I had already decided to check the baggage.  So, I added some liquids that I normally wouldn’t take. 

 

So, I considered calling car service, but at this late hour I was sure they wouldn’t have a car available.  Plus, I had no cash on me.  At 5:30 am I did see an available cab ride by my house (when I took the garbage out).  But, I wasn’t finished packing as yet.  I hoped that one would pass me by when I actually left.  But that would be pretty slim, as I never see any at that hour.

 

So, it’s time to leave.  I decided to sit the duffel on top of the suitcase.  First I passed the small hand-hold handles through the suitcase handle and then sat it on top.  To make things worse, it’s raining.  There’s no way I’ll be able to hold an umbrella too.  I got my ridiculous gold baseball cap.  Are you picturing all of this?

 

So, out I go on the outside of my door — struggling to get the suitcase and duffel out there.  My duffel swung around to the backside of the suitcase.  Crap‼  I fixed it, closed everything up, closed the gate, and crossed the street.  I took maybe 20 steps, if that much, when the duffel once again swung around to the backside of the suitcase.  This time it caused me to fall.  I almost hit my face on the concrete.  But, I think that my Ameribag (which is also nicely filled) perhaps saved me from injuring my face.  I stood up.  There was a young man who walked up- and wanted to do something for me, but what could he do?  My knuckles on my left hand were bleeding.  The blood was dripping down my hand.  My left knee was a big blob of blood and my right knee was also hurt, but not as bloody as the left knee.

 

I found a different way to carry the friggin duffel (under my arm with the strap on my shoulder — ouch).  I somehow struggled to the subway (didn’t see a cab) and pulled it down the stairs.  The subway had some space in it.  THANK GOD‼!  And I was standing for the entire trip.  After about 5 stops, a little asian girl who was standing next to me leaned over and handed me two bandaides. 

 

So, I’m here.  My stockings are all torn at the knees.  Luckily the color is nude, so it’s not so apparent.  Although I had to launder the stockings to get all the blood off.

 

So, that’s my morning.  How can it go downhill from there???

 

If I weren’t such a Kani Bosoorah, I would have ordered a car and been sure to have cash on me.  L

 

Conchi

Making "The Octopus" -- Ooooooo!!!!

Well, to start my story and video voyage on the making of the octopus, let me give you a little bit of background on it.  First of all, I have been totally afraid all my life over the process of making an octopus.  But in December of 2015, I decided to make this insane lunch and dinner party for my son (T), his wife (S), and my good friend (M).  It was an insane international collection of about 15 dishes (combining lunch and dinner).  I started off with Thai, then went into Korean for lunch.  Then for dinner I headed into French, then Italian.  By the time I got to talking about making the Linguini Con Vongole e Calamare, Porcini and Truffle Risotto, Grilled Octopus and then finishing off with Churos, I heard instant protesting groans from all three.  They were so full from what had come beforehand that they couldn't ingest another bite.  So, I scrapped about four dishes for a future date (to their relief).

So, what to do??  Well, of course, I froze the calamare and the octopus.  Two months later, I invited my son and wife over again and we enjoyed a Tom Kha Gai (a Thai Coconut Lime Chicken Soup) and the Grilled Octopus with a lot of bread dipping in my own infused herb/garlic olive oil.  They LOVED it.

So recently, my son (who will continue to remain unnamed to protect the innocent) decided to start up his own bi-weekly bluegrass jam at his apartment.  He had hopes of doing a lot of grilling in his community BBQ area.  One of the items he wanted to grill was octopus.  He and his wife (also to remain unnamed) found that there was a nearby fish store that carried frozen octopus for a very reasonable price per pound.

Now my daughter-in-law and my son felt quite intimidated over preparing the octopus.  I'm not surprised.  I have felt the same way all my life and have found the very varying cooking/preparation instructions very conflicting and confusing on the internet.  Some hang the octopus on a clothes line in the sun for a day.  Others bash the octopus against a wall (or hit it while it hangs on the clothes line?).   It's sort of like hitting a rug against something to get the dust out).  Others boil the octopus in a variety of liquids, varying from wine to water with seasonings.  And a lot of octopus cooks throw in a wine cork into the mix (just as an assurance that it's going to make the octopus tender).  So...what to do....what to do.  That is, until December of 2015.  So, my daughter-in-law asked if I could supervise the making of the poor octopus for the upcoming music jam (stand there as moral support).  But, the timing might not work, since my son wanted to make it the very same day of the jam, and I preferred to make it the day before.  So, my son asked me if I could make a video of myself preparing it the week before (i.e. I was making it to bring over to my friend's house (she and M -- we'll call them M and M) for a little birthday and stuffed artichoke face-off celebration).

So, at my son's request, this is the documentation of my octopus making.  I was very camera challenged, and there was quite a lot of incompetence.  But, I think I got the job done.  Plus, I did not pretty myself up to make the video.  So sadly, I look like a sow.  SOO-EEE!!!!

My first challenge was the camera.  Not only am I camera shy, but I detest seeing others taking their selfies.  So, here I was, doing the same.  Uggggh!!  Kill me!

So, the camera setup: Quite a bit of incompetence there, I must say.  I finally decided to sit the phone in a box.  Hmmmm?  https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B77PJbnoe8cCV21wUEdrazctLXc/view?usp=sharing
 

Well, of course, there had to be a second try at camera adjustment before starting.  Now I sat the phone on top of kitchen towels, but still in the box.  https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B77PJbnoe8cCMm51UkpLQU1RYms

So finally!!!!  AT LAST!!!  The first step of the preparation.  Keep in mind that this is a fresh octopus which is three pounds.  https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B77PJbnoe8cCa2VtWnJZQjFrNW8/view?usp=sharing

This is the second step.  I did attempt to put the videotaping on pause from the prior video, but, I didn't succeed in doing so.  I could have sworn that I activated that function (when I didn't want to, of course).  But, after investigating my phone pretty thoroughly, I couldn't find any link or button that might serve as a "pause" button.  ???  Who knows?   https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B77PJbnoe8cCaVVrQnM2NHlCQ2M

So, now that we've finished with the prior step, I wanted to show you the octopus in the pot.  It looks so beautiful.   https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B77PJbnoe8cCZ2JVOEFEamJvWWc

At this point, I'm done with the first and second steps of the preparation and took a break.  I decided to give you the after talk of the preparation, in addition to a lot of maniacal gesticulations.  Wow!!!  Do I really look like that??  It's frightening.  Although, now I see what my sister, R, is talking about, and my daughter, M.  R says that I bat my eyelashes when I speak.  What?  Me??  Never!!!  I'm the least flirtatious person I know.  But, here I am batting away.  Oh, my God!!!  My daughter says my nose moves up and down when I say certain words.  I can't tell if that's happening, or not.  Quite honestly, I'm quite horrified at how I look when I speak.  My friend, M, asked me if I had been drinking.  Hahahah.  No, I hadn't had any at all.  Oh, well.  I'll have to remember not to take too many videos of myself.  https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B77PJbnoe8cCVmJES094T1U5MUE

We're reaching the homestretch.  This is the marinade preparation.  Oh!!  And as a defense to my fatness -- yeah, I'm noticing it again after being two thirds of the way through this whole process -- I realize that I am wearing running pants that have a very thick cord on the waist that ties in an enormous knot in the front, and protrudes way out (why do clothes designers do that?).  But, that's just a minor defense actually, because I AM FAT.  Oh well, enough with my defense . . . on with the post.   https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B77PJbnoe8cCcHRSUE0wMk9DZVE

Well, into the oven it goes.  and roughly two hours later, this is what it looks like.  And, remember that there was no liquid added whatsoever to the pot.  The octopus braised in its own juices.  https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B77PJbnoe8cCUTExRUxUejNsNUE 

Here, at the end of the entire process, we have some more video-taking incompetence and more talking.  Blah, blah, blah!!!  https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B77PJbnoe8cCZnZCblV1bWpwRms  https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B77PJbnoe8cCX0M1Zkpkdzdsa0E

The whole process was fun.  And, believe it or not, when I made it at the Face Off dinner get-together, this is what it looked like while grilling on the outdoor BBQ grill, and in its serving dish after grilling was complete.  My hostess and friend (M and M) said they liked it very much.  https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B77PJbnoe8cCeE1Mb2JHNnJPZW8 and https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B77PJbnoe8cCTU02M2RNNjk2WXM

THE END

PS:  Next time, I think I'll experiment with the marinade and maybe with the herbs used, as well.
PPS:  I used different herbs the first time I made it.  I had purchased a bunch of different fresh herbs.and it was very good.
PPPPPSSSS:  Hopefully, this experience will make me improve with my next videotaping of myself cooking.